Sunday, April 16, 2017

Slow Food

'Someone asked the other day:
'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,
I informed him. 'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'at Home,'' I explained!

'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.

I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. My
brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning.

On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change.
His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for
everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper
with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because
we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.

Ignition switches on the dashboard.

Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.

Real ice boxes.

Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.

Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.

Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with table side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels...[if
you were fortunate)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H green stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with a lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulbs
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age
If you remembered 16-25 = You' re older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

(author unknown)


  1. I always figured that I was older than dirt; now I KNOW! - lol

  2. I'm older than dirt -- I remember my mother sprinkling clothes to be ironed, rolling them up tight and putting them in the refrigerator to chill. I remember when everything had to be ironed. I was born before the age of plastic and I remember how people got along without it. I saw a stainless steel old fashioned ice tray and bought it a while back. It makes the best ice and doesn't taste like plastic.

  3. It's kind of funny for me, I remember all those things well but today I can't remember where I parked my car at WalMart! :-)

  4. I got all 25, so I am older than dirt. We did sprinkle the clothes and put them in a plastic bag and put it in the refrigerator. Putting them in the refrigerator kept them from mildewing or drying out before you could get around to ironing that afternoon or the next day. Plus, the main advantage of putting the starched, dried, and sprinkled clothes in the refrigerator was that the sprinkled water permeated the clothing to make ironing easier than on just sprinkled clothes.

    I also remember playing jacks because there was no battery powered toys to play when it rained outside. Jacks on the dining room floor...good memories.

  5. Another memory or two just floated up from one of my antique brain cells. I remember in 4th grade the older girls kept their hair in a ponytail. The girls would often have a scarf around the neck or on the ponytail. They wore thin short sleeved sweaters (cashmere was "in") and gathered skirts or circle skirts adorned with a poodle, penny loafers or saddle oxfords with bobby socks. Crinolines or petticoats were in style. When a girl walked down between the desks to sharpen her pencil, the skirts and petticoats would invade everything around. I used to feel sorry for the poor boys. The girls "primped" constantly -- the grunge look had not yet arrived.

  6. Mike,

    That quiz really does make you stop and think about how old you really are. Nice to know a little more about you. I hate to say, I must be older than dirt after taking this test.

  7. I can't tell my age either, but not sure if that is just my CRS kicking in.


Your thoughts are welcome!